No movie, in the history of movies, could ever top the BAMFness that is "Gladiator." Yes, historically speaking, it's god awful, but when it comes to Russell Crowe in Roman armor, beating the crap out of people... a Classical History buff, such as I, can over look this.
This movie, released in 2000, was directed by Ridley Scott, one of the famous Scott brothers, written by David Franzoni, John Logan, and William Nicholson. The movie starred THE Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix (as the pansy ass bad guy), Richard Harris as the Emperor Marcus Aurelius, and Connie Nielsen as the sister of Joaquin Phoenix's character.
For their efforts, "Gladiator" won Best Picture at the Oscars, and Russell Crowe won Best Actor.
So, basically, for those FEW people in the world who have yet to see this movie, the story centers around Maximus Decimus Meridius, a Spaniard general in the army of the Emperor Marcus Aurelius (who, historically speaking, was also a Spaniard). The movie begins with a battle between the Romans and the tribes of Germania, in which Rome makes a sweeping victory. Marcus Aurelius' children, Commodus (Phoenix) and Lucilla (Nielsen) arrive after the battle. One can tell easily that Marcus Aurelius saw Maximus as another son to him, pretty much how he wished Commodus had turned out. Marcus Aurelius starts talking some nonsense to Maximus about how he wished the Republic to be restored, yada yada. Marcus Aurelius never felt this in real life by the way. So, Marcus says that he wants Maximus to help make this happen after he dies (because he's getting really old). Well, Marcus tells Commodus this, Commodus becomes a whiny, jealous little b**ch, and kills his father. ALSO historically untrue.
Commodus becomes emperor and in turn, because he's a jealous little b**ch of Maximus ("Everyone loves Maximus more than me! WHA!!!") and orders his execution. Maximus, being the BEAST he is, escapes his captors and takes off. He rushes home, because he fears for his wife and son's lives, but when he gets there, he finds that the emperor's cronies have killed his family. He collapses out of sheer exhaustion, both mentally and physically, and also having sustained a wound.
Eventually, he is found and taken into slavery by Proximo, who runs a gladiatorial school, and was a freed slave (gladiator) himself.
Lots of fighting in arenas ensue AKA lots of BADASSNESS. Then lots of fighting in the ultimate arena: the Colosseum. Lots of advice given by Proximo to Maximus ensues. Blah, blah. And then this:
This scene, right there, is one of THE most EPIC moments in a movie in the history of movies. Especially when Commodus basically looks scared s***less because he knows he's going to get pwnd.
A lot more BAMFness happens, some BS, a coup that failed, and Maximus finds himself in the Colosseum, fighting Commodus. Of course, Commodus being the little bi**h that he is, injures Maximus before hand to give him the edge in the fight. But, because Maximus is Maximus (which, in Latin, means biggest/greatest, by the way), beats the crap out of Commodus, but still dies in the end. Before he dies, he reinstates the Republic, yada yada, which never happens. And then the movie ends with him, walking through what one can assume are the Elyssian Fields towards his wife and son.
Did I mention that Commodus had this NASTY infatuation with his sister, Lucilla? Yeah, he totally wanted to have a baby of "pure blood" with her. GROSS!
Seriously though, if you have yet to see it, don't just stop at reading my synopsis. Go to your nearest movie rental store and GET IT. If you don't have a movie rental store nearby (because Netflix is taking over) then go to the nearest movie store and BUY IT. It's TOTALLY worth it!
By the way, interesting fact, Commodus was actually murdered in the bathtub by his favorite wrestler, Narcissus. It was part of a plot to assassinate him (a previous plot to poison him failed when he puked it back up). And he actually was not as bad of a guy as he was portrayed in this movie.
So, as always, I have to include some of my favorite quotes, which there are some excellent ones:
"At my signal, unleash Hell." ~ Maximus
"What we do in life, echoes in eternity." ~ Maximus
"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?" ~ Maximus
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance... in this life or the next." ~ Maximus.
The list could legitimately go on. Seriously.
"Gladiator" is one of those movies that EVERYONE should see once in their life. It's most certainly a feast for the eyes. The cinematography is dazzling, and the costuming is fantastic. The acting is top notch (Hell, Russell Crowe got an OSCAR), and you really get emotionally invested in the characters. Not to mention, it is one of a few "Sword and Sandal" movies in the past ten years or so that was actually GOOD and successful at the box office.
Ok... now that I'm done with all this rambling that probably doesn't even make sense... WATCH "GLADIATOR" RIGHT NOW! And then you'll understand my absolute excitement about this movie.
Well, that's it for now! Until next time! But in the meantime remember: Strength and honor!
"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE?"
